Today is the first day I have truly felt like a cancer patient. I have known I was under treatment and I know how I felt had to do with it, but it was not till today when I realized I have big dark circles under my eyes that I truly now feel like a cancer patient. Some would say wouldn't just your hair falling out make you feel that way, but no. I am totally OK being bald. Now when I look in the mirror and see the black circles under my eyes, it scares me. It makes me realize how tired I truly am, and how I just want this to all be done. It has hit me for the first time that I am not me. I am strong and not fearful of what has happened, but I am fearful of the treatments to come.The dark circles will eventually leave, and I know I am and will be a stronger person because of it, but I am scared. I am fearful and I am only human.
The bags I see makes me want to go hide,
to pack my bags and escape the place I am.
But the realization that I need to fight and
understand that I can do this, is so much stronger.
Cancer will not take me down, it will make me weak, and exhausted,
But, I will win as many before me have.
Thank you to all who have supported me and showed me your love. You have no clue how much it has helped in my treatment and care. If it were not for all of you this fight would be so much harder and I would have given up awhile ago.
Des, you may be a cancer patient, but you will also be a cancer survivor. While you are a patient at the moment, you are also a mother, a daughter, a wife, a sister and a friend to so many. Please remember when you are feeling weak, scared, sick or all of the above, we are here to help lift you up when you are to tired to stand on your own, we are here to share your burdens so you don't have to be as scared, we are here to wipe your brow and bring you broth when you are feeling ill, or all of the above. Simply put, you are not alone as you walk this journey. And as for the bags under your eyes, keep telling yourself you are trying to incorporate BeetleJuice into your look. You can't do the hair so you have to do the face.
ReplyDeleteLove you Missy!